Do not wear sweatpants to run errands, Kyle.
Old age should counsel more mature choices.
Put on your big-boy pants – you’re not a child.
Though plague burns unabated yet awhile,
And work at home forfends officious voices,
Do not wear sweatpants to run errands, Kyle.
The store’s distance may be a quarter mile,
And streets are empty – there are no noises.
Put on your big-boy pants – you’re not a child.
Sweats are for sports, and you’ve forsaken style,
Forgotten likewise what grace or poise is.
Do not wear sweatpants to run errands, Kyle.
This choice calls your education to trial:
You’re toilet trained? You know who James Joyce is?
Put on your big-boy pants – you’re not a child.
Your girlfriend now threatens you with exile –
Make the change today, and she rejoices.
Do not wear sweatpants to run errands, Kyle.
Put on your big-boy pants – you’re not a child.
